How to organise a family get-together across households
Families are the hardest group to poll, not because people are difficult, but because they are spread across half a dozen chats and at least one person does not use any of them.
The run-up, in order
Lead times are the difference between a plan and a group chat. This is roughly how it goes when it goes well.
- Six weeks out: agree the weekend with the household that has the least flexibility — usually whoever has young children or works shifts.
- Four weeks out: tell everyone else the date rather than asking. Once the anchor household is fixed, a poll only creates doubt.
- Two weeks out: sort food, who is bringing what, and where anyone staying over is sleeping.
- The week of: send the time, the address and the parking situation.
The person who is not in the chat
Send them a link they can open without an account, or ring them. Do not make the rest of the group relay it.
Food and who brings what
A visible list stops three trifles. Claim-as-you-go beats assignment by text.
Timing around children
Start earlier than feels natural. A 1pm start is a family lunch; a 7pm start is a family argument.
A starting point you can copy
Paste this straight in and change the details: “Family lunch, a Sunday in March, at ours, 1pm, everyone brings a dish.”
One idea, a couple of dates and a rough cost per head is enough for people to answer with a tap rather than a paragraph.
Common questions
- How do you pick a date the whole family can do?
- Fix it around the least flexible household first, then announce it. Polling everyone equally is how family dates drift for months.
- How do you include relatives who do not use apps?
- Send a plain link they can open in a browser and answer with a tap, with no account and nothing to install.